Do Dogs Grieve When Another Dog Dies?
We talk a lot about how people grieve their pets. But what about the animals who are still here?
When the Other Pets Are Left Behind
If you've ever had more than one dog, you'll know that the relationships they form with each other can be just as complicated as the ones we have with them.
Some are inseparable. Others seem to spend most of their lives tolerating each other's existence. They share beds, steal each other's food, compete for attention and develop their own little routines that we aren't always part of.
And then one of them is gone.
We understand why their bed is empty, why they aren't coming home and why the house suddenly feels so different. But how do you explain any of that to the dog who's spent years sharing their life with them?
We've been through this more than once with our own dogs, and both times we found ourselves surprised by how differently they responded.
When Mia passed, Cooper changed
For those who aren't familiar with our family, Mia was our beautiful Blue Heeler and the reason Mia Cooper & Co exists today.
Two years after adopting her, Cooper joined us. A Border Collie cross Jack Russell who, despite being considerably smaller than Mia, had absolutely no intention of being told what to do.
They spent the next decade together. Mia was the protector. Cooper was fiercely independent and very much his own little character. They were completely different dogs, but they were their own family within our family.
When Mia passed, we knew Cooper would notice her absence. We expected he'd need some time to adjust, but we genuinely thought he'd be okay.
What we hadn't anticipated was that he'd suddenly take up digging.
Now, Cooper wasn't a destructive dog. In his entire life, he'd only ever had two accidents inside. One during a thunderstorm when he was young, and one on his final day. He didn't chew things, didn't dig holes and was generally the sort of dog who made you wonder how you'd managed to get so lucky.
But in the weeks after losing Mia, we started finding holes in the backyard. And not just the occasional bit of disturbed dirt, either. He'd look us directly in the eye, wander outside and start digging. Almost as though he wanted to make absolutely sure we were watching.
We knew our boy well enough to know something had changed. Whether the digging was his way of responding to Mia's absence, we'll never know for certain, but the timing was hard to ignore.
Do dogs actually grieve?
After seeing how Cooper behaved when Mia passed, it's something we've wondered about quite a bit ourselves.
There's been research into how dogs respond when another animal in their household dies, and while we still don't know whether they experience grief in the same way humans do, there are some interesting findings.
RSPCA Australia discusses changes that can occur in surviving pets, including differences in appetite, sleeping patterns, activity levels and how much attention they seek from their owners. Some dogs become more vocal or unsettled, others appear withdrawn, and some show very little outward change at all.
Of course, there's also the question of how much our own behaviour influences theirs.
When we lose a pet, things change around the house. We might be upset, spend more time at home or find ourselves doing things differently. Our other animals are living through those changes as well. So it's difficult to know whether a dog is responding to the loss of their companion, changes in their environment, our own behaviour, or a combination of everything.
In Cooper's case, we knew something wasn't quite right. We just couldn't tell you exactly what was going through his head.
Bringing Henley home
After losing Mia, we eventually started looking for another dog.
This was during Covid, when finding a rescue puppy was proving to be quite the challenge.
Then along came Henley.
An eight-week-old Cattle Dog cross Border Collie who, from the moment she arrived, reminded us so much of Mia that it was almost ridiculous. So ridiculous we refuse to believe this was by chance. Same protective nature. Same mannerisms. Even some of the same very particular quirks. We often joke that she's Mia 2.0, although we're only half joking.
The part that really surprised us was Cooper's reaction to Henley arriving. The digging stopped - immediately.
He wasn't necessarily thrilled about having an energetic puppy invading his peaceful existence. We're fairly certain he spent those first few weeks questioning every decision we'd ever made. But the holes stopped appearing, and gradually the two settled into their own relationship.
We'd thought Cooper would be okay on his own after Mia. As it turned out, having another dog around seemed to matter to him more than we'd realised. That's not to say bringing home another dog will solve behavioural changes after a loss. It just happened to make a remarkable difference in our case.
Should you get another dog after losing one?
After what happened with Cooper, you might think we'd be the first people to suggest getting another dog. But we'd be pretty hesitant to recommend that without knowing the dog and their circumstances.
Age, temperament, health and previous experiences all make a difference, and a dog who's spent years happily living alongside one particular companion won't necessarily welcome a newcomer. There's also the practical side of introducing a puppy to an older dog. Puppies are energetic, persistent and generally not too concerned about respecting personal space.
Cooper was remarkably tolerant of both Henley and Harper when they joined our family, but that doesn't mean every older dog would have been.
And then there's the question of whether you're personally ready.
Losing a pet can leave an enormous gap in your life, but bringing another animal home is a big commitment. It's worth taking the time to consider whether it's the right decision for everyone, including the dog who's still with you.
For us, welcoming Henley and later Harper worked out in ways we couldn't have anticipated. But that's our experience, and every household is different.
How can you help a surviving pet adjust?
If there's one thing our experiences have taught us, it's to pay attention to what's normal for your own dog.
You know their habits and personality better than anyone. So if they suddenly become clingy, start vocalising more or lose interest in things they've always enjoyed, it's worth taking notice. Keeping familiar routines can help, particularly when so much else in the household has changed. Regular meals, walks and a bit of extra time together can provide some stability while everyone adjusts.
It's also worth remembering that not every dog will want the same things. Some might seek out more attention, while others are happier having a little space. And while it's understandable to associate changes in behaviour with the loss of a companion, we do need to be careful not to assume grief is always the explanation.
If your dog stops eating, becomes unusually lethargic or starts behaving very differently, it's important to speak with your vet. Pain, illness and age-related conditions can cause similar changes, and the last thing you'd want is to overlook something that needs medical attention.
We don't always know what they're telling us
You'd think after what happened with Cooper when we lost Mia, we might have been a little better prepared the next time around.
Apparently not.
Years later, as Cooper was getting older, we brought Harper into the family. We'd actually adopted him with Henley in mind, knowing how devoted she was to Cooper and wanting her to have another companion when the time came. But things didn't quite go to plan. Harper became Cooper's little shadow, following him everywhere and doing his best to win over his older brother. We often referred to them as Batman and Robin.
When Cooper eventually passed, it was Harper, not Henley, who seemed to struggle the most. We'd spent so much time worrying about how Henley would cope that we hadn't considered just how attached Harper had become. We can't know exactly what either of them understood about those losses.
But we know what we saw.
And perhaps that's the most important part of caring for the animals who are left behind. Not assuming we know how they should feel or behave, but paying attention to what's actually happening in front of us. Because while we're trying to work out how to live without the pet we've lost, the other animals in our family are adjusting to a different household too.
And sometimes, they need a little more from us than we expected.
If you'd like to meet the four dogs behind our little business, we've shared more of their story in Meet Our Family – Cooper, Mia, Henley & Harper.